Have substance in your life!

What does it mean to have substance in your life? 

Having substance in your life means actually being an interesting person, but what does it mean to be an interesting person? 

Imagine that you’re on a date or eating dinner with a colleague and you’re really vibing with the person sitting across. You probably want to make sure that you leave a strong impression. You want to make sure that they remember you so that they want to continue being in your life.

I think back to when I would go on Tinder dates and the girl sitting across from me had absolutely 0 substance. No hobbies, nothing interesting to talk about, just a boring empty shell. Imagine you are interviewing someone for a job and they were just that… a boring empty shell. At the end of the day, you’ll probably want to work with someone interesting, not just someone that can get the job done. Nowadays, it’s easy to find people with the technical skills to get the job done. 

I love that I was involved in a fraternity when I was in college because I learned precisely this! Our fraternity was very selective and we would choose new members based on… if they had substance (essentially). I remember interviewing a potential new member and I asked them the standard questions only to shake their hand and immediately forget who was in the room with me for the last 30 minutes. Without any notable substance to their personality, the candidate didn’t remain in my memory for very long and they did not move along in the process. If you’re trying to land a high-paying contract, the interviewer might be experiencing the same thing. 

At some point, you’ll encounter a situation where you will have to demonstrate that you are someone that people WANT to be around.

You need to develop a MAGNETIC PERSONALITY. 

What in the world is a magnetic personality? Well, it is simply someone that exudes an aura of interest. The reality is, there is no easy solution here. The problem with social media is that what garners attention are those posts with “x tips to speak better” or “do this now and you’ll speak better”. This content can only take you so far… In order to really internalize the right techniques, you’ve got to commit to a lifestyle change. 

It doesn’t have to be huge, it can start with just a small change. Even a small change will have a ripple effect. You will be able to look back and reflect on how that small change left a big impact on you. Self-discovery is not something that you do just once in a while, it is something that must become habitual. Constantly exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations will add up over time and before you know it you’ll have people vying for your attention left and right. 

Becoming an interesting individual is a lifestyle commitment. You must have a consistent influx of new, diverse, and interesting stimuli in your life. This should be a daily thing or a weekly thing. Once it becomes habitual, it becomes second-nature. Once it becomes second-nature, you won’t even notice the change and in no time you will start passively attracting interesting people into your life.

Let’s imagine a scenario where your daily routine involves sitting at a desk and typing away at some code for 8 hours a day. Sure, you may be learning new coding knowledge and new coding languages but that information will not make it much easier to connect with non-coders. One of the biggest reasons I stopped coding was because I wanted to introduce more diversity into my life so that I can have more substance as a person. Looking back, I don’t recommend giving up coding but what I do recommend is introducing more diversity into your life. The key is to make it natural and habitual to have exposure to this sort of stimuli so that you don’t have to go out of your way to develop a personality. Sitting in your man-cave and soaking up information from your computer can only take you so far.

In my personal experience, I’ve found that consistently exposing myself to interesting people and spending quality time with them is the most time-effective method to developing an interesting personality. Don’t forget, we are only human and our biological limitations means that there are certain techniques that are effective and other techniques that are simply not as effective. Think back to our ancestors. How did they transfer information? Our ancestors likely sat around a campfire and shared stories orally and spent lots of time doing this. Chances are, we’ve adapted to maximize the impact of this method of transferring knowledge. If that is the case, I believe that we should double down on this style of interaction because our minds had a lot of time to adapt to this style of giving and receiving information. Books, videos, podcasts, and other forms of information are definitely helpful and valuable, don’t get me wrong. I just believe that face-to-face interaction in this way is one of the most engaging and effective methods. It is for this reason that I teach the way that I do. I took the time to really think about this and it works. 

Do you want to improve your confidence, reduce speaking anxiety, and speak fluently? In less than 3 months, I’ll take you to the next level. Together, we will transform you from a shy and nervous speaker to a confident and outspoken individual with the ability to impress those around you. Soon, you’ll have that magnetic attraction and your network will grow. As they say, your network is your net worth. If you are making the transition to freelance/contract work then my lessons are IDEAL for you. The first lesson is free so simply click the button below and start your journey right now!

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